How many people n
this high school y’all?
The statistics on bullying and suicide
are alarming:
Suicide is the third leading cause of
death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according
to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100
suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered
suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times
more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale
University
A study in Britain found that at least
half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
10 to 14 year old girls may be at even
higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
According to statistics reported by ABC
News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying,
and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying
What is Bullying?
Definition—a person
who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate others who are weaker.
This is a little dry. What’s
your definition?
Why does bullying occur? Why do some people
bully others?
Hide insecurities –
Bad stuff going on in a person’s life. Perhaps they are being bullied by others
or at home.
To be cool—it is a
way to build a reputation. In the extreme, a lot of drug lords and war
criminals also want a reputation for being the most cruel. The bully, the drug
lord and war criminal all want to build a sick reputation. It gets them
attention. This hints at other issues we’ll see shortly.
Highly competitive
culture- You lose I win! Unhealthy sense of power—I have no power of my own so
hurting others makes me feel better. I
feel stronger. I think a lot of it is culture or how we live.
Are we too competitive?
Why / what else?
How does bullying happen?
Dehumanize others.
He / she looks / acts different. I can objectify them. Objects are not human
and I can do what I want to them. Can you hurt a rock? Who will care?
Why is bullying such a problem or big deal?
It a problem for
both the bully and the victim.
The Bully- if the behavior continues unchecked or not dealt with, it leads to
poor life outcomes. What do I mean by that? The behavior escalates into worse
things, such as assaults, robberies and even killing.
Soon the poor sucker
finds himself in prison and once he’s out life gets even harder. Nothing like a
criminal record for a resume killer. Employers take the threat of work place
violence seriously. They rarely take a risk on some one with a violent felony.
They don’t have to. It is not always fair but life is not fair.
Bullies also have a
much higher risk of becoming an addict. That means drugs and getting high are
all they think about. This is another career killer. Yeah, I get a laugh out of
a stoner movie but I really don’t want that person flying the airplane I’m on.
Who wants to live
with an old high school bully with a criminal record and a bad drug habit? Is
this person going to build good relationships? People can change sure but why
go through all of that?
What else happens to people who
bully in the future?
The Victim- Suffers a lot of stress and worry. They should not have to. No one
deserves to be bullied period.
In the short term it
causes people to miss school and it hurts learning. Bullying hurts being able
to make friends and can lead to self-harm.
Unchecked this can
also hurt for the long term. They can wind up in bad abusive relationships. It
also hurts their career. With little or no confidence they get the worst low
paying jobs.
When a young person
hurts themselves or takes their own life, the failure is not theirs. It is
ours, all of ours. Life can really suck sometimes. I was bullied. There is no
worse feeling than being dropped off at school each day wondering if you are
going to make it through the day. I could never have a good day when that was
going on. I’ll share more on my experience later on if you like.
What else happens to those
targeted by bullying?
People who bully are
people who are suffering in their own way, let’s be careful not to dehumanize
them. Be hard on the problem, not the person!
High school is but a
small part of our lives but the habits formed here are hard to break.
Bullying does not
stop the day you graduate. It can happen in the work place. The younger you
learn how to deal with it, the better off you will be.
How to protect yourself in 4 steps.
- Yourself. Value yourself not to take
being bullied. Self-confidence. Don’t face it alone. That’s no good. Just
being aware of where you are who’s around and what’s going on. If you are
getting a bad vibe / feeling relocate. When you see it happening, speak
up. Have a sense of humor.
- Your peers. Look out for others and they
will look out for you. I helped the back row of my tenth grade English
class pass. No body was going to bother me there, no way. Make friends the
more the better.
- Adults and the school- Education is both
a right and a duty. (Duty- something you may not like or want to do but
have to anyway.) The staff and school are responsible for maintaining a
safe learning environment. It is their job, their duty.
- The Legal System. Didn’t I see some cops
wondering around here? Why? If things get out of hand they can step in and
take care of business. A criminal record at a young age can still be a
career killer. I see it every day where I work. Bullying is against the
law and you are protected by the legal system.
Questions / Ideas for more discussion
- What changes need to be made here to
reduce bullying?
- How can we help those who bully see and
understand the harmful effects of their behavior?
- Labeling
- Cyber-bullying
- Inequality
- Future role-playing
- How serious a problem is bullying here
at Grimsley?
- Deescalate.
- How do you feel when someone insults or
threatens you?
- Conflict resolution positive peace.
Resources…
Paul, we appreciate you speaking to our classes yesterday... you did an outstanding job!
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