Great Resource

AHEAD

Association on Higher Education And Disability

Short Note on Skipping Lines & Such

Sometimes, there are pluses to being handicapped. At the airport, I skip the long security line and go through the magic wand screen and the pat-down, (cop-a feel-lite). Kidding TSA friends, you've always been professional in my travels! But one time I was randomly selected for "further screening" at a tiny airport in California. It was just more pat downs and the whole take off your shoes drill (Thanks, Richard Reid, you asshole!!). No rubber gloves were involved, thank God. 

A random dude said, "Man, I'm glad they took a closer look at you. I knew you were al Qaeda."

He was joking, and even the TSA people got a laugh. I was selected by some NSA computer type program. We all played our roles well, and survived the ordeal.
    
I'm glad to have the extra help getting around. Otherwise, I'd be screwed in the bigger airports. I've got the best help in East Asian airports such as Hong Kong, Inchon, Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City (still known to many as Saigon). These folks will NOT leave ya hanging! I'm always polite, even if I'm tired as Hell. I'll leave the "Asshole American" role to others, thanks. The people who help me in an airport I'll most likely never see again. I doubt they remember me, but if they do, I want it to be for the right reasons. "Yeah, that guy from North Carolina was cool." and not, "what a handicapped prick!" Spread the love around, there's no need to be an asshole. I think being cool makes people more likely to help me out. Plus, it makes for more pleasant travel. There are other difficult places life takes us like the DMV.       

Until just a few years ago, I always stood in line like everyone else at the DMV. It is now really difficult. The last time, my wife took me inside in a wheelchair. We were waiting in line when an employee there asked us over to a desk, getting the people to make a path for us. I thanked the people for moving and the thoughtful employee It is a small office and from a physical standpoint, not very handicapped friendly. Doing the line would have been difficult for us, and others trying to get around me and the wheelchair. People are good. Some lines are unavoidable. 

If there is a place to sit, I'll ask the person in front and behind me if it is okay if I go have a seat and cut back in in when my turn comes. So far, I've had no one say "no." I think this is the fairest way for all involved. I'm not getting "special treatment," and I don't have to kill my back. No, the world does not "owe me" anything. Following the Golden Rule is all I ask. "Do un to others as you would have done un to you." Not too hard, and transcends borders.       

Readings 9.23.2013

High Level Meeting on Disabled People at The UN

Disney Halts Program That Allows Disabled Guests to Cut in Line

Russia's Disabled 'Face Uphill Battle'

Author: Disabled teachers have much to offer

How Safe are Elderly and Disabled People in Assisted Living Programs?

Moving Beyond Lonely with a Twist

Let's pick it up from where we left off... From a handicapped student point of view.   

Be approachable.

My brother used to look like the terminator walking down the halls of school. He was a big dude, and no body messed with him. The only problem was he appeared totally unapproachable. His body lingo said, "...if you speak to me, I just may KILL you." He had a small close set of friends so it was not a big deal. But he did not get a lot of dates that way. I was the opposite. I always made eye contact and gave the casual s'up nod. I greeted people in the hall, and assisted whenever possible the class clown. If there was no class clown, I took on the role for the team.   

Talk with other people.

The casual greeting opened many doors for me. Being handicapped made me exempt from much of the clique BS. I got along with preps, potheads, gang bangers, and nerds. This sometimes put me in a unique position to defuse tense situations. I'd say "He's cool.", and the tension would fade away. I doubt there are many people that have as wide a variety of friends as me. This is still true for me today. I try not to judge. Accepting people for who and where they are is easier.         

Listen. 

This is very important. Too many people never feel heard. I'm not only talking about the kid who hangs out by himself or herself, but even the so-called "popular people." Often, they have many acquaintances, and few real friends. They suffer just like everyone else. We may think some of their problems are no big deal. But to them, not getting that 4.0 is a disaster. Meet people where they are, not where we think they should be. Hear them out, and help find a solution. Just hearing a problem out loud can make a big difference. 

Help others out. 

I took care of the homework assignments for the whole back row in my ninth-grade English class. They loved me! Have a real concern for others. I found it always came back to me in numberless positive ways. Everyone suffers and is trying to muddle through as best they can. We have to rely on each other to make it through this thing called living. Being a rugged individual is cool in some movies, but life does not work that way. Going it alone will only make you batshit!  

And last as the Dalai Lama said, Inspire Others. This does not mean being a super athlete or rock star. Simply be a friend.

Readings 9.14.13

Disability in the Arts and Media - Access, Inclusion, Accuracy

Every child strengthens the literate community

Effects of Inclusion on Children with Special Needs and their Peers

Web of Loneliness

Self-Growth

• 
  

lonely cripple

I know that is a mean title for a blog post! Cripple used to be a word that what may be cringe whenever I heard it. I have to say it still bothers me a little but I've learned to consider the source, either someone not thinking or a complete dumb ass. Lonely is another scary word.  It is something we all experience but rarely talk about.  It can be more debilitating than any so-called handicap.

Today, I was reading an online thread about loneliness. There are a lot of lonely people out there. I'm not sure how much the Internet helps or hurts this. On the one hand, it is a place to reach out. In my opinion, the Internet offers no substitute for being around people. I will say the Internet may be a good start. In the thread I was reading, there was a lot of good advice. There was also a lot of crap to make people feel worse. The best advice that came from my reading today, was to seek professional help if for whatever reason a person cannot make friends. I would say this is more for chronic loneliness, and not for just having an off day or bad week Loneliness is a difficult subject to discuss even with close friends or family. I'm not sure how I would even begin such a discussion. I hope writing about it I can be helpful. I may have to revisit this topic. These are just some initial thoughts. The reading today got me to thinking about loneliness and the disabled. I think we have all felt loneliness at some point or other. I'm thankful I've not had this feeling too often. but I have experienced loneliness before at different times in my life.  It can be soul crushing.

In grade school while growing up, many of my peers would run around like chickens with their heads cut off during recess. Most the time, I would find a nice shady spot, and watch the ongoing buffoonery before me. A few oddballs would come by and hang out with me, and we would talk shit about our foolish classmates. Looking back, I now realize, I too possessed the most valuable thing in the world, the ability to be a friend. At the risk of sounding cheesy, and perhaps even like cliche, the amount of love in your heart, has nothing to do with dunking a basketball or running a marathon. Yes, it's true, giving your love freely to others will come back to you many fold. That has been my experience anyway. Like anyone else reading this, I too have had rough spots. There is nothing worse than being picked on by bullies. Part I Here. I wrote about this experience earlier on this blog. I also had to switch schools many times between first grade and finishing high school.  The role of new guy and outsider became a weird norm for me. On top of that I also looked different than all my pears. Fortunately for me, I understood the value of friendship, and most of the time made friends quickly. Looking back from many years in the future, I believe all the switching schools I did really helped me a lot.  I think I'm lucky in this regard, not all disabled people have the love, and support to carry them through the lonely spots that are inevitable in life.

Our individualistic culture can all too often be very isolating. We are told to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and take care of ourselves.  We are also told to take responsibility for our own problems.This is cool and all, when we are mentally healthy and strong. but what happens when a lonely stretch goes from a few days to a few weeks to a few months? The disabled are all too often shoved under the rug and out of sight left in substandard housing or nursing care facilities. For the most part they are uninvited to participate in society. These difficulties can lead to other health problems such as addictions, and mental-health issues. I shudder to think of how many of my disabled brothers and sisters are being denied living life to its full potential. Forget about waiting around for inclusion programs, include yourself. You have the most valuable thing in the world to give, love and friendship. they transcend any disability. here is what has worked well for me.

Be approachable.
Talk with other people.
Listen. This is very important. Too many people never feel heard.
Help others out. I took care of the homework assignments for the whole back row in my ninth-grade English class.
Have a real concern for others. everyone suffers. We have to rely on each other to make it through this thing called living.
And last as the Dalai Lama said, inspire others. This does not mean being a super athlete or rock star. simply be a friend.

I'll revisit this topic soon. These are just some initial thoughts.