Off Topic, But....

The Mother Ship Connection

What about UFO's, Ghosts and other so called paranormal stuff? I read a lot of this the other day and it got me to thinking. I've had a ghost UFO and even a big foot experience. What the hell were they? Perhaps an over active imagination, airplanes or just a drunk tall lanky dude. Not so sure I buy into other worldly explanations. Being a practicing Buddhist Agnostic kinda puts the kibosh on such notions. That said, I still dig ghost shows and well done UFO documentaries. Ghost shows are way too easy to fake. It would be cool to see a real Grave Encounters. Don't watch this movie alone after dark. It was pretty damn freaky. It was only just a movie but still man! The Show Ghost Adventures is a little on the flaky side, and easy to fake. But, I still learn some pretty cool history from it. No, it does not make me a believer. Out of the Blue is a pretty good UFO documentary. Still, it does not "prove" anything. The questions it raises are more about us than ET's -n- shit. All of these can be seen on Netflix. I'm unaware of a really good big foot documentary. Again, way too easy to fake. Not impossible, but still I'm unaware of any objective scientific proof. That is not to say there never will be. Have we all had at least one unexplained experience? I bet the answer is yes. Here are a few of mine.

movie ghost

I grew up in a really old house (circa 1910??). It had all the fun stuff we associate with ghosts, cold spots, unexplained noises and even apparitions. All the locals thought it was a haunted house. They said it was the guy who built the house, but I never heard why he would come back as a ghost. He was harmless. He never did more than make old house noises, produce cool spots and show himself from time to time. I saw him too well one night. For some reason I was sleeping in a room down stairs on a very bright moonlit and cold winter night. Mom and Dad were still up in the next room. I felt something was looking at me, and I rolled over towards a closet with a sliding door that was open. Yup, there he was looking at me. He wore a white robe and his face was the same color. Tow dark circles were his eyes and he had a grin full of teeth. I was scared but I didn’t scream. He never hurt anyone before, and I figured he was not going to now. I just rolled back over away from him feeling wide awake. Some time passed and I decided to see if he was still there. He was not. I went on to sleep undisturbed for the rest of the night. The next strange thing I saw was outside.

Bigfoot looking for a still or taking a leak?

It was at dusk. My sister and I were out walking down the gravel road headed back to the same house. We both saw an outline of a tall human-like figure walking towards us around an eighth of a mile further down the road. In the fading light, he was all inky black. We could only see his clear outline. Suddenly, he / it turned and strode into some deep woods. There were a few bike trails but otherwise those were the thickest and deepest woods around. It creeped us out pretty good, but did not really scare us. Looking back, I highly doubt it was a Bigfoot. Most likely, it was some dude looking for a place to get high or take a leak. But he did look awful strange. It was an interesting and eye-opening place I grew up.

I had a friend that had crazy shit happen around his house all of the time. The things there were meaner but no physical harm came to anyone that I know of. I swear that dude could write a book. I may write more on that at a later time. Paranormal search teams could make a career there. But that’s another person’s story. Here’s my UFO story. 

Pretty close to what we saw but further away.

John and I were going to a bar early on a warm summer night. Dollar 20 oz drafts, need I say more? Now, I know what you’re thinking. “This one is not getting off to a good start.” Work with me. We got our beers and decided to head out to the back deck. It was early by bar standards, around 8pm. I don’t know who saw it first, but there was a very bright white light moving across the sky. It looked like a very bright star. There was no trail and it traveled in a large curve. The other odd thing was, there was not any noise. It disappeared behind the side of the building.

“What the hell was that?” I asked.

“UFO, man. I don’t know. That was weird.”

“Too fast to be a plane.”

“I know man, but nobody is gonna ever believe us. ---you were at a bar and… Yeah, right.”

We drank our fill and went on home. That was a strange sight. I’m not saying it was ET, but neither of us knew what it was. The last I checked, (yesterday) beer is not a Hallucinogen. It was not the cheap beer. I don't know what it was. That was many, many years ago. 

So does this all make me some kinda promoter of the paranormal? Am I a believer, a conspiracy nut, a ghost or Bigfoot hunter? No. I just saw and heard stuff that I could not explain.  That does not mean it was unexplainable. There are solid possibilities for all three, over active imagination, tall drunk dude or some kind of airplane. Here is a possible explanation for a lot of so called paranormal stuff. Look to James Randi as well. But man, I still cannot help but wonder if someday we'll have a more complete explanation for these different things. Bigfoot? I doubt it. Ghosts and UFO's I think we'll fully understand as things of our own minds making one day.    

Role Models?

Role models come in many forms. There are even anti-role models, people who are in the don't let this be you club. The most important role models are parents and or other immediate family. Without good role models at home, I doubt others will be all that effective. I knew of famous handicapped people, but never thought that could be me! Nah, the big role models for me were much closer to home, parents brothers and my sister. All gave me both encouragement and challenged me to do more. I was never told I could not be something, no matter how unlikely it was. I was encouraged to take on challenges both large and small. I was never excluded from play time with brothers and my sister. They always worked me in somehow. Cannot ride a bike? No worry, I'd ride with one of my brother's bikes on the back or even be towed behind in a wagon. Who says I cannot play football? They would put a helmet and shoulder pads one me and we would crash into each other like fools! Yeah, I was always included even being punished when needed. I never thought of teachers as role models. They were teachers. I'm lucky in that I never had any really bad teachers. They were all okay to outstanding. I never thought of actors, or pro-ball players as role models for the most part. There were a few notable exceptions...

Whenever I got stuck trying something, I'd think of James West figuring out how to get out of a trap being cool and looking good all the while. He never lost his composure going into panic mode. I also sometimes thought of myself as Jim Rockford, laid back detective. These guys used their brains. Later on in life as a young teen, I was exposed to the real possibility of doing some pretty serious drugs. I remembered all the anti-drug ads Magic Johnson did. "He would not be wasting his time, if he was not serious."-- my teen brain thought. I passed on those opportunities. The druggies I hung around at the time were cool with my decision. Thank God, there was not a lot of peer pressure BS!

My conclusion? For me, it did not matter if a given role-model had a disability of some kind or not. I had the important role models of a good loving family and friends. With out that, I'm not sure what the best teachers in the world or most well intentioned famous athletes can do. So if you stumbled across this blog asking how to best help a disabled son or daughter, look no further than a mirror.   

      

Readings

Beyond the Disabled Label

Labeling and Portraying People with a Disability

Disability Awareness: We're in this Together

Abilities United

(resource)

Where are the Disabled Teachers?

NFL Bullying

Article on NFL Bullying

I like the NFL by not thinking about it too deeply. When I think about the suicides, men grown old before their time, murders who get away with it and the "Business" of college football, I realize there are more productive ways I could spend Saturday and Sunday fall afternoons. I'm not a jock or even a big handicapped sports advocate because I pretty much find jock / ultra-competitive culture abhorrent. Is there not a better use for all the resources / money spent? I'm still a fan but I'm not sure for how much longer. 

Thoughts anyone?        

Notes from Grimsley High School Presentation

How many people n this high school y’all?

The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming: 

     Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.

     Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University

     A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying

     10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above

     According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html

What is Bullying?

Definition—a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate others who are weaker.

This is a little dry. What’s your definition?

Why does bullying occur? Why do some people bully others?

Hide insecurities – Bad stuff going on in a person’s life. Perhaps they are being bullied by others or at home.

To be cool—it is a way to build a reputation. In the extreme, a lot of drug lords and war criminals also want a reputation for being the most cruel. The bully, the drug lord and war criminal all want to build a sick reputation. It gets them attention. This hints at other issues we’ll see shortly.

Highly competitive culture- You lose I win! Unhealthy sense of power—I have no power of my own so hurting others makes me feel better.  I feel stronger. I think a lot of it is culture or how we live.

Are we too competitive?

Why / what else?

How does bullying happen?

Dehumanize others. He / she looks / acts different. I can objectify them. Objects are not human and I can do what I want to them. Can you hurt a rock? Who will care?

Why is bullying such a problem or big deal?

It a problem for both the bully and the victim.

The Bully- if the behavior continues unchecked or not dealt with, it leads to poor life outcomes. What do I mean by that? The behavior escalates into worse things, such as assaults, robberies and even killing.

Soon the poor sucker finds himself in prison and once he’s out life gets even harder. Nothing like a criminal record for a resume killer. Employers take the threat of work place violence seriously. They rarely take a risk on some one with a violent felony. They don’t have to. It is not always fair but life is not fair.

Bullies also have a much higher risk of becoming an addict. That means drugs and getting high are all they think about. This is another career killer. Yeah, I get a laugh out of a stoner movie but I really don’t want that person flying the airplane I’m on.

Who wants to live with an old high school bully with a criminal record and a bad drug habit? Is this person going to build good relationships? People can change sure but why go through all of that?

What else happens to people who bully in the future?

The Victim- Suffers a lot of stress and worry. They should not have to. No one deserves to be bullied period. 

In the short term it causes people to miss school and it hurts learning. Bullying hurts being able to make friends and can lead to self-harm.

Unchecked this can also hurt for the long term. They can wind up in bad abusive relationships. It also hurts their career. With little or no confidence they get the worst low paying jobs.

When a young person hurts themselves or takes their own life, the failure is not theirs. It is ours, all of ours. Life can really suck sometimes. I was bullied. There is no worse feeling than being dropped off at school each day wondering if you are going to make it through the day. I could never have a good day when that was going on. I’ll share more on my experience later on if you like.      

What else happens to those targeted by bullying?

People who bully are people who are suffering in their own way, let’s be careful not to dehumanize them. Be hard on the problem, not the person! 

High school is but a small part of our lives but the habits formed here are hard to break.

Bullying does not stop the day you graduate. It can happen in the work place. The younger you learn how to deal with it, the better off you will be.

How to protect yourself in 4 steps.

1. Yourself. Value yourself not to take being bullied. Self-confidence. Don’t face it alone. That’s no good. Just being aware of where you are who’s around and what’s going on. If you are getting a bad vibe / feeling relocate. When you see it happening, speak up. Have a sense of humor.

2. Your peers. Look out for others and they will look out for you. I helped the back row of my tenth grade English class pass. No body was going to bother me there, no way. Make friends the more the better. 

3. Adults and the school- Education is both a right and a duty. (Duty- something you may not like or want to do but have to anyway.) The staff and school are responsible for maintaining a safe learning environment. It is their job, their duty.

4. The Legal System. Didn’t I see some cops wondering around here? Why? If things get out of hand they can step in and take care of business. A criminal record at a young age can still be a career killer. I see it every day where I work. Bullying is against the law and you are protected by the legal system.
   
   
   
   
   Questions / Ideas for more discussion

1. What changes need to be made here to reduce bullying?

2. How can we help those who bully see and understand the harmful effects of their behavior?

3. Labeling

4. Cyber-bullying

5. Inequality

6. Future role-playing

7. How serious a problem is bullying here at Grimsley?

8. Deescalate.

9. How do you feel when someone insults or threatens you?

10. Conflict resolution positive peace.

Resources…

www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html

www.stopbullying.gov

     www.stompoutbullying.org/

Adapt and Adjust II

Not related, I just dig this Mustang

I learned how to live independently, but it did not happen overnight. It was like doing a jigsaw puzzle underwater. Over a long period of time, I was able to put it all together. Like any goal, one has to answer the question "how bad do you want it?" I knew I did not want to always live at home with Mom and Dad. I love them both very much, but like most everyone else, I wanted to make it on my own.  I had to educate myself enough to be able to use my brain to make a living. The physical part was much harder. By that I mean learning how to dress, bathroom stuff and getting and preparing food. The only time I had been to a grocery store before was doing beer runs. It was a long process. I started going to physical therapy in high school where with the help of a few good therapists, I learned how to dress myself without getting stuck or hung up. As a part of this I had to learn how to get unstuck when things did not go as planned. For me, looser clothes worked the best. They also helped me learn my way around the kitchen. I had to figure out how to open and close stuff and operate an oven and stove safely. It was several years before I put all of this into practice. No one could figure out a way I could get my socks on. My feet have bad circulation as it is. I needed to be able to wear regular shoes WITH SOCKS. I wound hp staying with mom and Dad much longer than most people do. I was twenty-nine before I finally moved out. Still, the sock problem remained unresolved. I moved into an apartment with Uncle Bob. I was not "on my own" but I was a step closer. He helped me with socks and brought home the groceries. I did everything else for myself, even cooking. One of the best days of my life came when I used the sock machine Joe ad I had made to put on my socks and go out when bob was not there. A few months later, I was in a house living on my own. I had made it!

There were lots of set backs, false starts and truly hopeless moments along the way. Sure, there were times I though I'd never be independent. I resolved to make the best of it all the while keeping an eye out better ways to do things for myself. Being patient and learning not to waste a lot of energy getting angry when things do not go my way I found to be most important. When I got mad and threw something, like my dress stick, it only created a new problem to solve. How am I going to pick the damn thing up now? Sure, it still happens sometimes. I let an inanimate object kick my ass. Every now and then emotion gets the better of me. But it happens much less than it did before. If I'm having trouble figuring out how to do something, I've learned to take a break before I get upset. Step away and do something else for a little while and then come back to it seems to work. Sometimes, I just have to ask for help.  It is not a defeat, just problem solving via other means.

Cool house

We have to accept what we cannot do. But we can choose how we respond to it. I can piss and moan about something or take my time and find a positive work around. It's funny but such problems are learning experiences. If I go to a new friend's house or a hotel, I have a new set of problems to resolve. How am I going to get in? How can I use the bathroom? Where can I sit AND get back up? AND is better! If I CHOOSE to make these problems unsolvable, I won't be going many new places or hanging out as much with new friends. I can CHOOSE to deal with a world that's not designed for me.             

Attitude = Altitude

Readings 11.2.13

Young Handicapped Pilot

Disabled Youth Organizing

More on Bullying

Travel Solo

Disability is Natural