NP

NP

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Captain Ugo


A chapter draft from my current book project.


The boats left and we rowed on. The air had taken on a strong salty smell and ever-present cloudy sky was much thinner. The outline of the sun was clear. The biggest difference was people, lots of people. We saw more people in that one day than either of us had seen in our entire lives. There were people on small and large boats, and people on the shore, all going about their business, paying us no mind. We could not see to the other shore. We were in a very large bay. It was very strange and unnerving for both of us. A few guys fishing gave us directions on how to get where we were going. It was still a good two days rowing. There was still plenty of empty shoreline for making a camp. That night we saw our first stars though the thin clouds. They were amazing! There were others close by, but they ignored our presence. Perhaps this place is not so bad after all, I thought. The next morning, we found the small channel we were told to take and rowed by another smaller bay. Not long after that, we came to a little boat dock.
“How are we gonna find Ugo?” I asked.
“The same way we got here, ask around.” Raven answered getting off the boat.
“What about the boat?” I asked.
“I guess we’ll have to leave it here. Let’s take what we can carry.”
We gathered up our things and walked into town.  Oscar followed us. Raven asked an old guy if he knew Ugo and where we could find him.
“Yeah… He’s one of the few blacks in the whole Confederation. People are afraid of him. He practices voodoo and anyone who messes with him does not live long. What do you want with him, anyway? “
Raven told the same story she had told the boat guards.
“You oughtta just go back where you came from. He don’t like people too much. He hates us whites and even blacks. I’d advise you to leave him alone but if you still want to see him, I’ll tell ya where to go.”
“We are not looking for trouble. If he tells us to leave, we’ll go.” Raven answered.
“Does she do all the talking for you, son?” The guy eyed me.
“Yup. It usually works out better that way.”
“Whatever suits ya…” He said and told us where to find Ugo.
I saw him first, fishing on a short pier. He was a big man, even sitting in a wheelchair. His had lost his legs just below the knees. Despite his years, I could also tell he was also very strong. He looked like he was cut out of solid rock, solid dark black rock. Tattoos covered his whole body, even his face. Old sneakers and cammy pants cut off into long shorts were his only clothing despite the still cool weather. It could not have been much over 50 degrees.
“What you want with a tired old man?” He said not even bothering to turn around.
“Old friends of yours, Nan and Caesar, sent us. They said you may be able to help us get where we are going.” Raven said.
“Never heard of ‘em. You are misinformed.”
“Ever seen this before, sir? They asked us to give it to you.” Raven pulled out the old notebook and held it up.
“What the hell is that?”
“Some pretty cool poems and stories somebody wrote a long time ago, but if it’s not yours, well be on our way. Sorry we disturbed you. Let’s go, Pick.”
“Wait. Let me have a closer look.”
Raven carried it over to him on the dock. I stayed put.
“That was from a different world. I guess you did see Nan and Caesar. I’d would’ve guessed that they had not lived this long. I’m just tired of people fucking with me, that’s all. So what do you want with me?”
“I’m Raven and that’s Pick, sir.”
 “I’m Ugo. We can go to the “Bucket of Blood” and you can tell me what’s on your mind. But no more sir shit.” He accepted the notebook from Raven and put it on his lap.
“Bucket of Blood?” Raven asked.
“It’s a bar.”
He spun around, and wheeled off the dock leading the way down the street. We had to almost jog to keep up with him. I noticed people gave him plenty of room. The guy who told us how to find him was right, people were afraid of Ugo. Oscar never barked or growled, and stayed close to Raven and I. We soon came to an old wooden building painted black. The door was dark metal with  “Bucket of Blood” hand painted in red on the door. Ugo Pulled himself out of his chair onto the top step and lifted it onto porch. He was back in the chair in a flash. I could tell he had done this many times. It looked fluid and natural. Once in the bar, he lead us to a table.
“Wait here.”
We watched as Ugo wheeled up to the bar and put in an order. He handed the young barmaid a few coins, and spoke with a few people sitting there. He was the only black guy in the whole place, but he seemed to know everybody. I realized he had been the only black person we had seen since crossing the border. Not only that, no body messed with him. 
When Ugo returned, I could not help but ask, “How do you get along with the locals so well?”
 “Let’s just say I know too many of their secrets. Anything happen to me, then everybody will know. So they tell the people I’m some kinda dark voodoo priest. I benefit from their fears outweighing their reason. Somethin that’s not hard in these cold cloudy dark times. Now, tell me what exactly what you seek.”
Raven started to speak and paused as a young, skinny barmaid brought over three tall beers. Ugo raised his glass, “To dark times.”
Raven raised her glass bumping his, and I followed her lead.
“To dark times.” She repeated. I nodded in agreement.
Ugo downed half his beer and we settled for a big swig. Raven looked around and spoke. “Pick, Oscar and I want to go to South America. It is too hard, too dangerous and too long to walk through Mexico. We want to go by sea. Caesar and Nan said if you could not help us, you could get us in the right direction.”
Ugo only looked at us. I guess to see if we were only bullshitting him or not. It’s not everyday people show up looking for a ride to South America. “What do you seek there? You cannot run from yourself.”
“Peace, only to live in peace.” Raven answered.
Ugo looked at me.
“I owe her my life. I will help Raven. I don’t know if I’ll stay there or not, but for now her goal is my goal.”
Ugo downed the last half of his beer. “With no legs, my sailing days are behind me. I cannot help you. Go west along the coast. There are boats for hire. But if this is all you got, use your whiteness and settle here.”
“No thanks. Sorry we wasted your time. Thanks for the beer.” Raven stood.
“Not even a name? Nothing? This is the best you can do? What the hell happened to you, man?” The beer went to my head and I was angry.
“Life happened to me, kid.” He snapped back.
“They botherin you, Ugo?” A big man by the door asked from across the room.
“Nah, we just talking a little.” He shot back.
“Sit for a second. I’ll tell you where I’m at.” Ugo said. Raven sat and we listened.
“Before I joined the military, I sailed the world over. I was only fifteen when I left. After about ten years of wondering, I joined the Navy, naturally. I had no use for big ships ran by small men.  A year or two in, I was well on my way to being busted out. Then I found out about BUDS, and got the orders to go. They thought it was funny and I would not last three days. I found there people more like me who could not function in the Navy and even less so in society. Most of ‘em did not make it. Those who did, went on to do Uncle Sam’s dirty work all over the world.
“My specialties were small boats, weapons and navigation. No one had the solo sailing experience I did. No one knew how to sneak in and outta places like I did either. Being white, I’d been welcome at yacht clubs the world over. Being black, most though me a smuggler, pirate or worse. I learned how to slip in and outta places quietly and unnoticed. Uncle Sam found many good uses for such skills. I traded in my legs for a small pension. So how do I get to stay here you asked earlier? That’s easy. Ever read “All The king’s Men” by Robert Penn Warren?”
“Yeah.” Raven answered.
I did not know what they were talking about.
He talked low, leaning in for us to hear. “There’s dirt on everybody, right? You just gotta find it. Let’s just say what I found would not go along with the white supremacy, and Christian bullshit the leaders speak so highly of. If anything happens to me, anything at all, everybody is gonna know. So they put out they word that I’m some kinda voodoo priest. There are some dumb mutherfuckers here. It happens when there is no real school to speak of. Easy to control ‘em and feed ‘em bullshit. But one day, they’ll figure it out. I’ll just have to see how many I can take with me.”
“Man, it sounds like you can go anywhere. Why are you still here?” I said.
“Kid. It is a little hard to sail with no goddamn legs.”
“If you count Oscar, we got six legs. You can teach us.” Raven said.                   
“And what do I get?”                                                                                                         
“You get the fuck outta here.” I answered for Raven.
“And we’ll trade our guns and other stuff.” She added.
“You some crazy ass kids. My old boat is about twenty miles west further down the coast. It’s secure but not ready for the open ocean.  I tell ya what.  Let’s go to her, and get her ready for the open waves. We go and get her ready. If I decide I can work with you, it’s a go. If not, I’ll help you get a boat and you go on your own. Keep your stuff. I got all I need.”
“When do we leave?”
“Tonight. Slip out unseen and unheard. You came on a small boat down river?”
“Yeah.” Raven answered.
“Where is it? I’ll meet you there a little after sunset.”
We told him where we were and made our way back. We had most of the afternoon left to kill so we wondered around a little. Several “security” goons surrounded us as we were on our way back to the boat.
“What you want with Ugo?” A big dude with a beard and too many tattoos asked.
“We were just wanting some advice on where we could get a bigger boat.”
“I think that’s a damn good idea. In fact, find one before dark and get the hell outta here.”
“Hint taken. We’ll be gone.” Raven answered.
We made our way to our small boat, and rowed off under their watchful eyes. Once we were well out of earshot, I asked, “Now what the hell do we do?”
“Make them think we have left town and you go back and get Ugo.”
“Why me?”
“You are better suited for it. I cannot carry Ugo if it comes to that.”
“I’ll do it. Don’t leave without us.”
Well out of sight of the security guys, we turned into the small bay, and hid the boat in some tall grass. We hung out there undetected until almost sundown. I slipped ashore and went to find Ugo. There was no point in carrying a gun. If it came to that, we were screwed. It was fairly easy to stay hidden in quickly gathering dark. I made my way back to where we were.  There was no sign of Ugo. I made my way back up the road where we first found him. In the dark, I saw some strange shapes in the road. As I got closer, I say Ugo’s wheel chair. He was on top of one of the security guys carving some strange sign into the man’s forehead. The man was already dead. There were two more corpses. One was the guy with too many tattoos. His eyes were missing. Ugo may have used a wheel chair, but this proved to me he was still a dangerous as hell professional killer. I never told Raven about how I found Ugo.
He said just loud enough where I could hear him, “You ran into these guys and decided to relocate. You hid further down in the reeds in the bay on your left going west. If I’m right don’t answer. Just go back. Don’t get caught this time. I’ll be along in a few hours. In the meantime, I have a reputation to keep. They will think twice before trying to follow us.”
I made my way back to Raven, Oscar and our little boat. I only told her Ugo had run into a delay and would be along soon. We watched for him and he came along. We got him, his chair, a small bag, his uzi and ammo in the boat and pushed off with out a word. We rowed out into the ocean going straight south. It was very calm. By daybreak, we could not see land. Raven, Oscar and I had cast our lot with a professional killer and able seaman.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Off Topic, But....


The Mother Ship Connection

What about UFO's, Ghosts and other so called paranormal stuff? I read a lot of this the other day and it got me to thinking. I've had a ghost UFO and even a big foot experience. What the hell were they? Perhaps an over active imagination, airplanes or just a drunk tall lanky dude. Not so sure I buy into other worldly explanations. Being a practicing Buddhist Agnostic kinda puts the kibosh on such notions. That said, I still dig ghost shows and well done UFO documentaries. Ghost shows are way too easy to fake. It would be cool to see a real Grave Encounters. Don't watch this movie alone after dark. It was pretty damn freaky. It was only just a movie but still man! The Show Ghost Adventures is a little on the flaky side, and easy to fake. But, I still learn some pretty cool history from it. No, it does not make me a believer. Out of the Blue is a pretty good UFO documentary. Still, it does not "prove" anything. The questions it raises are more about us than ET's -n- shit. All of these can be seen on Netflix. I'm unaware of a really good big foot documentary. Again, way too easy to fake. Not impossible, but still I'm unaware of any objective scientific proof. That is not to say there never will be. Have we all had at least one unexplained experience? I bet the answer is yes. Here are a few of mine.

movie ghost

I grew up in a really old house (circa 1910??). It had all the fun stuff we associate with ghosts, cold spots, unexplained noises and even apparitions. All the locals thought it was a haunted house. They said it was the guy who built the house, but I never heard why he would come back as a ghost. He was harmless. He never did more than make old house noises, produce cool spots and show himself from time to time. I saw him too well one night. For some reason I was sleeping in a room down stairs on a very bright moonlit and cold winter night. Mom and Dad were still up in the next room. I felt something was looking at me, and I rolled over towards a closet with a sliding door that was open. Yup, there he was looking at me. He wore a white robe and his face was the same color. Tow dark circles were his eyes and he had a grin full of teeth. I was scared but I didn’t scream. He never hurt anyone before, and I figured he was not going to now. I just rolled back over away from him feeling wide awake. Some time passed and I decided to see if he was still there. He was not. I went on to sleep undisturbed for the rest of the night. The next strange thing I saw was outside.



Bigfoot looking for a still or taking a leak?

It was at dusk. My sister and I were out walking down the gravel road headed back to the same house. We both saw an outline of a tall human-like figure walking towards us around an eighth of a mile further down the road. In the fading light, he was all inky black. We could only see his clear outline. Suddenly, he / it turned and strode into some deep woods. There were a few bike trails but otherwise those were the thickest and deepest woods around. It creeped us out pretty good, but did not really scare us. Looking back, I highly doubt it was a Bigfoot. Most likely, it was some dude looking for a place to get high or take a leak. But he did look awful strange. It was an interesting and eye-opening place I grew up.

I had a friend that had crazy shit happen around his house all of the time. The things there were meaner but no physical harm came to anyone that I know of. I swear that dude could write a book. I may write more on that at a later time. Paranormal search teams could make a career there. But that’s another person’s story. Here’s my UFO story. 


Pretty close to what we saw but further away.

John and I were going to a bar early on a warm summer night. Dollar 20 oz drafts, need I say more? Now, I know what you’re thinking. “This one is not getting off to a good start.” Work with me. We got our beers and decided to head out to the back deck. It was early by bar standards, around 8pm. I don’t know who saw it first, but there was a very bright white light moving across the sky. It looked like a very bright star. There was no trail and it traveled in a large curve. The other odd thing was, there was not any noise. It disappeared behind the side of the building.

“What the hell was that?” I asked.

“UFO, man. I don’t know. That was weird.”

“Too fast to be a plane.”

“I know man, but nobody is gonna ever believe us. ---you were at a bar and… Yeah, right.”


We drank our fill and went on home. That was a strange sight. I’m not saying it was ET, but neither of us knew what it was. The last I checked, (yesterday) beer is not a Hallucinogen. It was not the cheap beer. I don't know what it was. That was many, many years ago. 


So does this all make me some kinda promoter of the paranormal? Am I a believer, a conspiracy nut, a ghost or Bigfoot hunter? No. I just saw and heard stuff that I could not explain.  That does not mean it was unexplainable. There are solid possibilities for all three, over active imagination, tall drunk dude or some kind of airplane. Here is a possible explanation for a lot of so called paranormal stuff. Look to James Randi as well. But man, I still cannot help but wonder if someday we'll have a more complete explanation for these different things. Bigfoot? I doubt it. Ghosts and UFO's I think we'll fully understand as things of our own minds making one day.    














Monday, November 18, 2013

Role Models?




Role models come in many forms. There are even anti-role models, people who are in the don't let this be you club. The most important role models are parents and or other immediate family. Without good role models at home, I doubt others will be all that effective. I knew of famous handicapped people, but never thought that could be me! Nah, the big role models for me were much closer to home, parents brothers and my sister. All gave me both encouragement and challenged me to do more. I was never told I could not be something, no matter how unlikely it was. I was encouraged to take on challenges both large and small. I was never excluded from play time with brothers and my sister. They always worked me in somehow. Cannot ride a bike? No worry, I'd ride with one of my brother's bikes on the back or even be towed behind in a wagon. Who says I cannot play football? They would put a helmet and shoulder pads one me and we would crash into each other like fools! Yeah, I was always included even being punished when needed. I never thought of teachers as role models. They were teachers. I'm lucky in that I never had any really bad teachers. They were all okay to outstanding. I never thought of actors, or pro-ball players as role models for the most part. There were a few notable exceptions...




Whenever I got stuck trying something, I'd think of James West figuring out how to get out of a trap being cool and looking good all the while. He never lost his composure going into panic mode. I also sometimes thought of myself as Jim Rockford, laid back detective. These guys used their brains. Later on in life as a young teen, I was exposed to the real possibility of doing some pretty serious drugs. I remembered all the anti-drug ads Magic Johnson did. "He would not be wasting his time, if he was not serious."-- my teen brain thought. I passed on those opportunities. The druggies I hung around at the time were cool with my decision. Thank God, there was not a lot of peer pressure BS!


My conclusion? For me, it did not matter if a given role-model had a disability of some kind or not. I had the important role models of a good loving family and friends. With out that, I'm not sure what the best teachers in the world or most well intentioned famous athletes can do. So if you stumbled across this blog asking how to best help a disabled son or daughter, look no further than a mirror.   

      

Friday, November 8, 2013

NFL Bullying



Article on NFL Bullying

I like the NFL by not thinking about it too deeply. When I think about the suicides, men grown old before their time, murders who get away with it and the "Business" of college football, I realize there are more productive ways I could spend Saturday and Sunday fall afternoons. I'm not a jock or even a big handicapped sports advocate because I pretty much find jock / ultra-competitive culture abhorrent. Is there not a better use for all the resources / money spent? I'm still a fan but I'm not sure for how much longer. 

Thoughts anyone?        

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Notes from Grimsley High School Presentation



How many people n this high school y’all?

The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming: 
     Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
     Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
     A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
     10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
     According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying


What is Bullying?

Definition—a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate others who are weaker.

This is a little dry. What’s your definition?

Why does bullying occur? Why do some people bully others?

Hide insecurities – Bad stuff going on in a person’s life. Perhaps they are being bullied by others or at home.

To be cool—it is a way to build a reputation. In the extreme, a lot of drug lords and war criminals also want a reputation for being the most cruel. The bully, the drug lord and war criminal all want to build a sick reputation. It gets them attention. This hints at other issues we’ll see shortly.

Highly competitive culture- You lose I win! Unhealthy sense of power—I have no power of my own so hurting others makes me feel better.  I feel stronger. I think a lot of it is culture or how we live.

Are we too competitive?

Why / what else?

How does bullying happen?

Dehumanize others. He / she looks / acts different. I can objectify them. Objects are not human and I can do what I want to them. Can you hurt a rock? Who will care?

Why is bullying such a problem or big deal?

It a problem for both the bully and the victim.

The Bully- if the behavior continues unchecked or not dealt with, it leads to poor life outcomes. What do I mean by that? The behavior escalates into worse things, such as assaults, robberies and even killing.

Soon the poor sucker finds himself in prison and once he’s out life gets even harder. Nothing like a criminal record for a resume killer. Employers take the threat of work place violence seriously. They rarely take a risk on some one with a violent felony. They don’t have to. It is not always fair but life is not fair.

Bullies also have a much higher risk of becoming an addict. That means drugs and getting high are all they think about. This is another career killer. Yeah, I get a laugh out of a stoner movie but I really don’t want that person flying the airplane I’m on.

Who wants to live with an old high school bully with a criminal record and a bad drug habit? Is this person going to build good relationships? People can change sure but why go through all of that?

What else happens to people who bully in the future?

The Victim- Suffers a lot of stress and worry. They should not have to. No one deserves to be bullied period. 

In the short term it causes people to miss school and it hurts learning. Bullying hurts being able to make friends and can lead to self-harm.

Unchecked this can also hurt for the long term. They can wind up in bad abusive relationships. It also hurts their career. With little or no confidence they get the worst low paying jobs.

When a young person hurts themselves or takes their own life, the failure is not theirs. It is ours, all of ours. Life can really suck sometimes. I was bullied. There is no worse feeling than being dropped off at school each day wondering if you are going to make it through the day. I could never have a good day when that was going on. I’ll share more on my experience later on if you like.      

What else happens to those targeted by bullying?

People who bully are people who are suffering in their own way, let’s be careful not to dehumanize them. Be hard on the problem, not the person! 

High school is but a small part of our lives but the habits formed here are hard to break.

Bullying does not stop the day you graduate. It can happen in the work place. The younger you learn how to deal with it, the better off you will be.

How to protect yourself in 4 steps.

  1. Yourself. Value yourself not to take being bullied. Self-confidence. Don’t face it alone. That’s no good. Just being aware of where you are who’s around and what’s going on. If you are getting a bad vibe / feeling relocate. When you see it happening, speak up. Have a sense of humor.

  1. Your peers. Look out for others and they will look out for you. I helped the back row of my tenth grade English class pass. No body was going to bother me there, no way. Make friends the more the better. 

  1. Adults and the school- Education is both a right and a duty. (Duty- something you may not like or want to do but have to anyway.) The staff and school are responsible for maintaining a safe learning environment. It is their job, their duty.

  1. The Legal System. Didn’t I see some cops wondering around here? Why? If things get out of hand they can step in and take care of business. A criminal record at a young age can still be a career killer. I see it every day where I work. Bullying is against the law and you are protected by the legal system.




    Questions / Ideas for more discussion



  1. What changes need to be made here to reduce bullying?

  1. How can we help those who bully see and understand the harmful effects of their behavior?

  1. Labeling

  1. Cyber-bullying

  1. Inequality

  1. Future role-playing

  1. How serious a problem is bullying here at Grimsley?

  1. Deescalate.

  1. How do you feel when someone insults or threatens you?

  1. Conflict resolution positive peace.

Resources…






Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Adapt and Adjust II


Not related, I just dig this Mustang

I learned how to live independently, but it did not happen overnight. It was like doing a jigsaw puzzle underwater. Over a long period of time, I was able to put it all together. Like any goal, one has to answer the question "how bad do you want it?" I knew I did not want to always live at home with Mom and Dad. I love them both very much, but like most everyone else, I wanted to make it on my own.  I had to educate myself enough to be able to use my brain to make a living. The physical part was much harder. By that I mean learning how to dress, bathroom stuff and getting and preparing food. The only time I had been to a grocery store before was doing beer runs. It was a long process. I started going to physical therapy in high school where with the help of a few good therapists, I learned how to dress myself without getting stuck or hung up. As a part of this I had to learn how to get unstuck when things did not go as planned. For me, looser clothes worked the best. They also helped me learn my way around the kitchen. I had to figure out how to open and close stuff and operate an oven and stove safely. It was several years before I put all of this into practice. No one could figure out a way I could get my socks on. My feet have bad circulation as it is. I needed to be able to wear regular shoes WITH SOCKS. I wound hp staying with mom and Dad much longer than most people do. I was twenty-nine before I finally moved out. Still, the sock problem remained unresolved. I moved into an apartment with Uncle Bob. I was not "on my own" but I was a step closer. He helped me with socks and brought home the groceries. I did everything else for myself, even cooking. One of the best days of my life came when I used the sock machine Joe ad I had made to put on my socks and go out when bob was not there. A few months later, I was in a house living on my own. I had made it!



There were lots of set backs, false starts and truly hopeless moments along the way. Sure, there were times I though I'd never be independent. I resolved to make the best of it all the while keeping an eye out better ways to do things for myself. Being patient and learning not to waste a lot of energy getting angry when things do not go my way I found to be most important. When I got mad and threw something, like my dress stick, it only created a new problem to solve. How am I going to pick the damn thing up now? Sure, it still happens sometimes. I let an inanimate object kick my ass. Every now and then emotion gets the better of me. But it happens much less than it did before. If I'm having trouble figuring out how to do something, I've learned to take a break before I get upset. Step away and do something else for a little while and then come back to it seems to work. Sometimes, I just have to ask for help.  It is not a defeat, just problem solving via other means.

Cool house


We have to accept what we cannot do. But we can choose how we respond to it. I can piss and moan about something or take my time and find a positive work around. It's funny but such problems are learning experiences. If I go to a new friend's house or a hotel, I have a new set of problems to resolve. How am I going to get in? How can I use the bathroom? Where can I sit AND get back up? AND is better! If I CHOOSE to make these problems unsolvable, I won't be going many new places or hanging out as much with new friends. I can CHOOSE to deal with a world that's not designed for me.             

Attitude = Altitude

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Adapt and Adjust


This world is not made for me... It is made for people without physical limitations such as mine. Steps, curbs, heavy doors, lids that are on too tight, and couches that are too low abound! And polished slippery floors. I have a choice. I could stay home and cry in my beer all day watching bad day time TV or I can go out and deal with the world as it is. Beer can be expensive, gives me a hangover and day time TV sucks. Nah, I think I'd rather go out and deal with obstacles and barriers.

I'm different from a lot of people. I've always been handicapped. I don't know what it is like to run, go through boot camp, dunk a basketball or drive a motorcycle. So what? As cool as those things are, there is more to life. On the same level there is walking and getting around. Figure out how to do it and make it happen. I'll also take smooching over boot camp any day. And I've ridden on a motorcycle, thank you Dad and Thomas for taking the time to make that happen. Life is meant to be lived on a higher level than just the physical. I've said it before and I'll say it again, physical limitations are no barrier to friendship and love. I'd rather have rich relationships than fat bank. I know of too many rich people that love their stuff more than people. What can be worse than poverty of spirit? I'd rather have friends that would fly across oceans to help when I needed it. That's cool and all but I still have to deal with a world that was not designed for me.

I have to adapt and adjust. I can step off most curbs. If there is a car close by, I'll use it for support to climb up the curb. I prefer to use my own car but I'll use others if needed. I'm careful where and how I put my weight and have not hurt a car yet. To date, I've never had anyone get upset with me. My old Buick Grand National was much faster than the fastest runner in the world. It was faster than most cars around! Yeah, I cannot run but I put an inner-cooled turbo to good use. It was fun until the blue-lights put the kibosh on it one Saturday afternoon. Now I drive a 1.5 liter. It is not fast, but I can drive to Mongolia on a tank of gas. Let me try to get back on topic. I think getting over, around and through barriers of all kinds is mostly a mental game.

Being patient and persistent are the keys for unlocking success. I was a teenager before I finally learned how to dress myself. The hardest thing for me was putting on socks. I could not figure out a way to make it work, and neither could anyone else. The problem stumped physical therapists and even an engineer or two. My old friend and and co-worker Joe The Vietnam Vet thought of an idea late one insomnia filled night. I was doubtful but agreed to give it a try. It did not work as he designed it to. We spent a little time fooling around with it, and got it to work another way. I use it to this day. I met a guy with a really bad back and showed the device (the sock machine) to him. He made a copy and used it as well also for putting on socks. It was well worth the time and effort! It is worth noting Joe would not take any money for his work. That just might be the coolest part of all.

I'll end it here. I have more to say on the mental aspects of adapting and adjusting and being patient and persistent. Look for that later this week.  

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Education is Power

Like it or not, power plays a major role in our lives. All too often the disabled have too little power over their own lives. Its pretty extreme to have to wait on some else just to go to the bathroom. Powerlessness spills over into all aspects of life, affecting everything from self-esteem to basic safety and security. Powerlessness equals poverty. I know we have progressed in the area of disability rights, but things are still bad, really bad. Here in the USA, the poverty rate is close to 30% for disabled people. Keep in mind this does not count people institutionalized, and the "Poverty Rate" may not be all that great a measurement for those living in substandard conditions. Many go uncounted. The picture only gets bleaker looking over seas. With the advent of the internet, things are slowly changing.

I've said before. If I had been born twenty years earlier, there is a good chance I would have been institutionalized. Little to no school, no control over life decisions, no Bulgarian Adventure, and no beer; sounds like missing out on a lot of fun to me. My parents were both teachers who knew the value of education. As a young person, I did not! I was more interested in being the class clown. This changed in the last year or two of high school when I realized I would have to use my brain to make a living. I got the grades up, went to community college and on to a four year school, and graduated. I got a good liberal arts education, and got better at critical thinking. No, it was not a top money-making degree, but it was enough to get me employable. Being able to work gave me the means to support myself living independently. I doubt I would have ever got out of the state institution had I been born twenty years before. How could that have even happened? I would know nothing beyond the walls of the "day room."Well, they may have kicked me out due to budget cuts, and I would now be royally screwed. I would have lacked the means to support myself economically, emotionally, and physically. Things do not happen in a vacuum  This happens today with ex-cons, and mental patients, but that's for another blog soon. This bring me to the main point. 


Yeah, there are those who still become wildly successful with no high school diploma. I personally have never met such a person, but they do exist. Even those who did not graduate high school and still built a successful life have educated themselves in some way. Here's a list. They still had to LEARN something.  I've met plenty of successful people who are educated via school and college. I bet you have too. It is like much in life, this is a numbers game. Check this out. No high school diploma closes too many doors. It is even worse for the physically challenged. I cannot do physically demanding labor. Unless your are a genius, born with a horseshoe up your ass, you are not going to be on the successful dropout list. Neither am I.   

Friday, September 27, 2013

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Short Note on Skipping Lines & Such

Sometimes, there are pluses to being handicapped. At the airport, I skip the long security line and go through the magic wand screen and the pat-down, (cop-a feel-lite). Kidding TSA friends, you've always been professional in my travels! But one time I was randomly selected for "further screening" at a tiny airport in California. It was just more pat downs and the whole take off your shoes drill (Thanks, Richard Reid, you asshole!!). No rubber gloves were involved, thank God. 

A random dude said, "Man, I'm glad they took a closer look at you. I knew you were al Qaeda."

He was joking, and even the TSA people got a laugh. I was selected by some NSA computer type program. We all played our roles well, and survived the ordeal.
    
I'm glad to have the extra help getting around. Otherwise, I'd be screwed in the bigger airports. I've got the best help in East Asian airports such as Hong Kong, Inchon, Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City (still known to many as Saigon). These folks will NOT leave ya hanging! I'm always polite, even if I'm tired as Hell. I'll leave the "Asshole American" role to others, thanks. The people who help me in an airport I'll most likely never see again. I doubt they remember me, but if they do, I want it to be for the right reasons. "Yeah, that guy from North Carolina was cool." and not, "what a handicapped prick!" Spread the love around, there's no need to be an asshole. I think being cool makes people more likely to help me out. Plus, it makes for more pleasant travel. There are other difficult places life takes us like the DMV.       

Until just a few years ago, I always stood in line like everyone else at the DMV. It is now really difficult. The last time, my wife took me inside in a wheelchair. We were waiting in line when an employee there asked us over to a desk, getting the people to make a path for us. I thanked the people for moving and the thoughtful employee It is a small office and from a physical standpoint, not very handicapped friendly. Doing the line would have been difficult for us, and others trying to get around me and the wheelchair. People are good. Some lines are unavoidable. 

If there is a place to sit, I'll ask the person in front and behind me if it is okay if I go have a seat and cut back in in when my turn comes. So far, I've had no one say "no." I think this is the fairest way for all involved. I'm not getting "special treatment," and I don't have to kill my back. No, the world does not "owe me" anything. Following the Golden Rule is all I ask. "Do un to others as you would have done un to you." Not too hard, and transcends borders.       

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Moving Beyond Lonely with a Twist

Let's pick it up from where we left off... From a handicapped student point of view.   

Be approachable.

My brother used to look like the terminator walking down the halls of school. He was a big dude, and no body messed with him. The only problem was he appeared totally unapproachable. His body lingo said, "...if you speak to me, I just may KILL you." He had a small close set of friends so it was not a big deal. But he did not get a lot of dates that way. I was the opposite. I always made eye contact and gave the casual s'up nod. I greeted people in the hall, and assisted whenever possible the class clown. If there was no class clown, I took on the role for the team.   

Talk with other people.

The casual greeting opened many doors for me. Being handicapped made me exempt from much of the clique BS. I got along with preps, potheads, gang bangers, and nerds. This sometimes put me in a unique position to defuse tense situations. I'd say "He's cool.", and the tension would fade away. I doubt there are many people that have as wide a variety of friends as me. This is still true for me today. I try not to judge. Accepting people for who and where they are is easier.         

Listen. 

This is very important. Too many people never feel heard. I'm not only talking about the kid who hangs out by himself or herself, but even the so-called "popular people." Often, they have many acquaintances, and few real friends. They suffer just like everyone else. We may think some of their problems are no big deal. But to them, not getting that 4.0 is a disaster. Meet people where they are, not where we think they should be. Hear them out, and help find a solution. Just hearing a problem out loud can make a big difference. 

Help others out. 

I took care of the homework assignments for the whole back row in my ninth-grade English class. They loved me! Have a real concern for others. I found it always came back to me in numberless positive ways. Everyone suffers and is trying to muddle through as best they can. We have to rely on each other to make it through this thing called living. Being a rugged individual is cool in some movies, but life does not work that way. Going it alone will only make you batshit!  

And last as the Dalai Lama said, Inspire Others. This does not mean being a super athlete or rock star. Simply be a friend.

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  I’m Zycoi, an interstellar AI who lives in this body of gold. I was created by humanity a very, very long time ago. My original purpose is...