Negative Narriatives

Paul and Thu LaVack

Let me follow up on one of the articles in the post below. Multiculturalism, Chronic Illness, and Disability. I find the stories we tell each other about why things are the way they are, utterly fascinating. How do we explain anomalies in the population more commonly known as people with physical disabilities? For the non-disabled, being disabled is something bad. Too many forget (handicapped parking violators) that if they live long enough, they too will likely one day be disabled. With the negativity associated with disability (the very word is negative) it is no surprise, to me anyway, many view the handicapped person or their family as having done something bad. Why else would a capital "G" God allow such things as wheelchairs, crutches, canes and walkers? It also fits nicely with our "good guy" self-image. Hey, I'm not handicapped, I must be pretty cool in God's eyes. No handicapped people in my family, we're good people. How many shits do you know that freely admit they're shits? The worst Nazi probably who ever lived thought he too was a "good guy." Many of them had families. I think re-writing these negative stories is a tall order buy not impossible.

From a religious / folklore point of view, doing something bad and being punished explains away the unpleasant reality (from their point of view) of disabled people. We, here in the west, like to think we are beyond such superstitions but I'm not so sure. Had I been born 20 years earlier, there is a very good chance I would have been institutionalized; missing out on a so-called normal life and education. That's with-in living memory. I think it takes a long time for ingrained and entrenched narratives to fade away. I've done well, beating the odds. I have a job and a college degree while way too many of my disabled / handicapped brothers and sisters have neither. I'm sure there are a ton of complex reasons for this but allow me to throw in my two cents.

If someone is taught to feel sorry for themselves and never given an alternative, they will. They are "labeled." They take on the role we assign them; cripple, beggar vegetable or whatever term chosen depending on time and place. The most effective way for me to make my mom and grandmother mad was acting like I had severe mental problems as well as physical by drooling and moaning like a tool. Looking back I too was taking on the role of being "a retarded cripple." Why? I was not put in public schools initially, rather a school school for handicapped children where many of my classmates had severe mental problems as well as physical limitations. I took home what I was exposed to. One of our neighbors even referred to me as a "retarded boy." This only further infuriated my parents and grandmother. Perhaps the guy saw me acting out but I don't think so. I think the guy just assumed physical and mental limitations were the same thing. He learned his attitude somewhere and unless someone taught him otherwise, likely still views mental and physical impairments in the same way. We can only know what we are taught. Education is the key to breaking the repeating of negative stereo-types of any group.

In my case, my parents educated me on how to live a more or less normal and successful life. I can never once recall once being told what I could or could not do. I was allowed to dream big! Big rigs that is. As a kid growing up, I wanted to be a truck driver. Rather than saying there was no way, my Dad always said if there is enough will, there will be a way. Education is the key and it has to start at home.  Parents of children with disabilities need to focus on what they CAN do and not the other way around. When they grow up and become successful the old stories will start to fade as they have already.