Healthcare is obviously a deeply personal issue for all of us at some time or another. Any of us can be either the patient or have a friend or family member who is a patient. We each invest a lot of emotion in our own care and the care received by a loved one. In the role of the patient, each of us places our health and our lives in the care of people we do not personally know. We tell the same people things we may not even share with our spouse! Here, the word doctor carries a tremendous amount of weight, giving the holder of this title a huge amount of credibility. I can speak from the patient point of view and from concern for a loved one. The doctor patient relationship is almost something sacred and when trust is lost for whatever reason, it is difficult but not impossible to regain.
I only know the healthcare field from the patient point of view and what I have learned studying conflict in healthcare. I feel doctor's can gain their patient’s trust easily with their credentials and even more importantly, using active listening skills. I’ve learned doctors see a huge number of patients each day and as a result cannot have more than a few minutes for each person. If the doctor uses just a few concepts of active listening such as repeating back what is being said and asking for clarification, it makes me, the patient feel so much better about what was going on. I have a lot more trust in that individual than someone who walks into the room and treats me as an afterthought. The doctor has been told well before he or she enters the room why I am there. I feel they often know what they want to do as far as a treatment before they even speak with me. Given their workload, it is understandable. But the doctor should remember I am a person who may be in pain, afraid and worried. I can only speak for myself and for me a big part of healing is psychological. If I have trust and confidence in my doctor, that alone will help me start to feel better. I don't think I necessarily need a lot of extra time with the doctor to build this trust and confidence. Let me share a great example from a personal experience. Less then a year ago, it was discovered I had an abnormal EKG. Needless to say, I was given test after test. On a follow-up visit for a stress test, my doctor told me what was going on and took the time to answer a few questions for me. I'm handicapped and have difficulty dressing myself. At the end of the visit, I asked the doctor if he could send in someone to help me with my shirt. Rather than do that, he helped me himself. It was a small gesture that took little time but made a world of difference to me. He thought of me not only as a patient but a fellow human being. The doctor cannot do it alone, the patient also has responsibilities.
I, being the patient, need to do my part in taking responsibility for my own health. Many men do not like to admit they are having some kind of health problem and need help. By the time they get around to going seek medical care, they had often inadvertently made problem much worse. My Uncle Chip who passed away many years ago fell into this trap. He had a small growth under the skin on the side of his neck. With no insurance, he was reluctant to go to a doctor. The mass grew in grew along his neck. By the time he sought professional medical care, cancer had spread throughout his body and there was little they could do. He passed away in a matter of a few months. I was not with Chip when he died but somehow I felt it. He was far from perfect but he had a heart of gold and was a great friend! I still think of him almost every day. How he died is very sad. Perhaps had he gone earlier, the outcome would have been the same but we will never know. I think what kept Chip away from the doctor was a combination of understandable fear and no insurance. Reflecting on memories from 20 plus years ago, I may be forgetting some things and over simplfying what happened but I don't think so. I love life and the people around me and I want to be there for them. So even if I had no insurance and feel something may be terribly wrong I hope I can overcome my legitimate fears and worries and seek professional medical care. This may be the most important lesson I learned from Chip. Medicine has come a long way but even the best medicine the world cannot save us from ourselves. We have to be active participants in taking care of our health.
I like to think I can give my trust easily, especially to a doctor or other healthcare professional. I'm lucky to say I've got good care or most of my life and despite its problems and flaws, still have faith healthcare. That said, once my trust is lost it is very difficult to regain. I doubt I'm alone in feeling this way. As someone who has studied conflict the last three years, I see restoration of trust as a key issue; especially in healthcare where so much is at stake. The key, I believe, is active listening from both the patient and the provider. Even when trust breaks down, it is not always impossible to restore. As always, I invite you to share thoughts.
Look for another discussion next week.
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